hahahahaha....that was manda my BABY!!!!!!!!! : ) hmmm... not in the mood to blog but just wanted to tell you what has been happening ....went to the prom...then to my cuz house so no net : ) i'mm sorry if this is a lame blog but i promise there will be better just not today posted by Lynnette 7:44 AM . . .
i miss him....i don't know how that happened..i really don't.... ....without you, one night alone, is like a year without you baby...without you, can't stop the hurt inside, when love & hate collide. posted by Lynnette 8:16 AM . . .
ah great! i sprained my ankle, like how much better can my life get.*fuck* i don't know why i said that maybe cause i came on the net and saw no one, not even rosanne! ok so she is back...i don't know lah, i guess i'm just moody, have been since yesterday. damn rosanne is leaving. now i'm all alone again! i have soooooo much to say but nothing is freaking coming out!i feel so bloody fucked up. maybe i should just stop here.(i know that was a lame entry so forgive me) posted by Lynnette 6:53 AM . . .
it rained today but my mum was home then so i couldn't go blading *damn* i don't think i will ever get a chance....i'll just have to go blading feeling dry then : ( posted by Lynnette 8:56 PM . . .
i was looking at my room today and remembering when manda came here a real long time ago right after my massive clean up project. it got me thinking..."how the hell can i live in such a dump!".... *damn* i have to really clean it up and do some serious redecorating...i need a mirror and some kind of dresser ...maybe jasmine's one from ikea is a good idea.hmm ...but is there any space in my room for it...how the hell can my parents squeeze me with my maid in that tiny room! don't they know a growing girl should have more space to herself and that she may want the room to smell like her and not her and the maid...and don't they know that the maid is a walking example of 'still waters run deep' which gives me a creepy feeling everytime i see her.*argh*i need to something to my room and i need to do it soon....going to borders today...let's hope they have something there to help me. posted by Lynnette 8:52 PM . . .
well i started a journal.in a book! never thought that would happen but then with the amount of time i have been on the net i think the com is gonna get confiscated.*damn* that can't happed i need the net! its my life damnit. without it I WILL DIE!!!!!!!!!!oh well.... i'm gonna get a job so that i can get cold hard cash [why do they call it that anyway i mean i feel all hot when i have cash ; )] ok just a warning this is gonna be a long entry...i was walking to rosanne's house that day after it rained and i had the urge to jump in a puddle.i did! and guess what? it felt good...i have been having these weird urges to do this kinda stuff. just yesterday i wanted to rollerblade in the rain! weird...i know. maybe i am just going through a transitional(i don't even know what that word means!) period. or maybe i need to renew myself...i still want to go blading in the rain and since its been raining alot these days maybe i will...lets hope it rains tomorrow coz mum won't be home to scream at me and exams will be officially over.... posted by Lynnette 6:56 AM . . .
ok i'm going to church tomorrow. can you imagine that! with my parents - thats a downside but hah! you know what i think? that its because i haven't been going to church that my life has been a total flop. i think that maybe its time i let god run my life for me. hmmm... i still do believe in him you know....well god see you tomorrow! posted by Lynnette 7:09 AM . . .
damn i just wrote somethin that got deleted *fuck*i hate blogger i hate the net i hate my life! ohh! it was posted! posted by Lynnette 8:34 PM . . .
damn this blogger is sooooooo fucking slow.i am basically having problems coz this is like the second..no third time i used the F word on blogger.i really don't want to talk about it.and i don't think going to rosanne's house will make me feel any better.*argh*i don't know.......... posted by Lynnette 8:29 PM . . .
i feel so bloody fucked up sooooooooo fucked up posted by Lynnette 7:47 AM . . .
i'm thinking of sharing blogger but if i do that then i have to delete a few stuff and if i do delete them then where is the honesty in this.i really don't know! posted by Lynnette 12:34 AM . . .
ok so rosanne says that i'm fake in blogger.i don't know maybe you are my alter ego or maybe i am just a plain fake! damn i don't want to be a fake but then didn't i tell foots that i feel as though i put up a facade all the time! hmmm well i really don't know. i'll just leave it as this ...hi i'm lynnette ...i'm a total fake! nice to meet you too! posted by Lynnette 12:27 AM . . .
ok i did not write this but i thought it would be nice to share this with you "What they don't see is that inside I'm screaming. I have this way of keeping it all on the surface so that to everyone I come across, I appear well-presented, strong, and able. But only a precious few understand my personal stresses. It's as though I'm standing alone in the middle of a deep, dark hole, buried somewhere I've never been before, looking up at the sky and wondering where I belong. I'm searching for my own path and sometimes feel like I might not ever find it." posted by Lynnette 8:50 PM . . .
i think i'm paranoid, i have this thought that i'm depressed or on the verge of depression although i know i'm not. i have basically left the depressed part of my life when berilyn and i reconcilled (forgive me if i spelt that wrongly) but sometimes i feel as though being able to do what i did during my depression state would have been better. i so wanna cry out loud sometimes or take a blade and cut myself until my soul goes numb.hah!i sound a little depressed don't i? but the fact is i don't feel that way. i don't feel like i'm drowning or being sucked into oblivion. i just feel that there is something in me that needs to be set free something, if i do not eradicate WILL drown me very slowly. OR I JUST COULD BE PARANOID! posted by Lynnette 8:45 PM . . .
damn i came here to write something but nothing is flowing in that head of mine.... posted by Lynnette 8:30 PM . . .
ok i did badly for physics but the of thought rosanne teasing me about my password just makes me smile, she keeps going 'love ...... right' well rosanne if you are reading this its not his name! ok i was suppose to tell you (not you rosanne) something about what i discussed with manda but i can't remember so i'll have to dig that really tiny brain of mine and tell you another time.i havn't visited spacegirl yet and i don't think i will cos its late and my dear mum is pissing me off with her nagging (i think she is getting better at it cos i'm getting more irritated).ah well i'll just sign off with this"if its not mutual its not worth it" if you liked that you'll love manda cos she said that.gosh i'm getting whiny better go off now... posted by Lynnette 7:49 AM . . .
ok i just love this phrase''Maybe it means that I need more time off to experience days in a more natural way... watch the mellow sun rise, feel its hot rays slant perpendicularly down on my scalp at noon, see it bruise the western sky as it rushes towards the Pacific. I need to get more involved in the rhythms of the earth, and less involved with the virtuality of internet life. '' posted by Lynnette 4:28 AM . . .
i don't think the markers will be blown away after all, i didn't do all that well in english although i did use the wrd 'facade' wait that isn't a really great word *hell* ahhhhh! its over so i shouldn't like broad over it.what if i don't do well?gosh i am scared although i don't show it.hey! only you and i know that i am a lost sheep.so lets keep it that way. posted by Lynnette 4:15 AM . . .
ok i am a very desperate girl I NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO! ok so i found out jiaming has studied alot of chem and i am still lost .*shit* i have to start soon after my physics that is...ok thats all i have today.Wish me luck!(i am totally gonna blow the markers mind away with my compo tomorrow) posted by Lynnette 6:39 AM . . .
i have to take a little break, but it won't be for long. sooooooo wait for me to come back.......... posted by Lynnette 6:51 AM . . .
i don't know who i am anymore. i think i have been putting up a facade for the major part of my life. i need to rediscover myself real soon. But now studies comes first and i have to go for tuition. (this was a lame blogger,but hey! this is my time to myself !) posted by Lynnette 10:04 PM . . .
gosh i need a shower... but my dad is home shit! Well i'll just try to study till i fall asleep, then go take a shower when i wake up! i have to go to church tomorrow to pray for the 80 in SQ006,then i'll go and hit the books.ok wish me luck :) posted by Lynnette 8:07 AM . . .
once again i have to see how this looks like....... oh! and manda i'm sorry that i have the same background as you,but i really do like this... posted by Lynnette 7:48 AM . . .
